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Monday, April 20, 2009

Job Hunting

No picture because there's no possible piece of ClipArt that can possibly encapsulate the epic fail of what can only be laughingly called my job search. As things stand I have now been a college graduate for 11 months and I don't have a job. In those months, I doubt I have even been on 11 job interviews, which is really sad. I have been rejected from multiple M.Ed programs, including the same one, based at my alma mater, twice. I have been rejected by retail stores, including several bookstores (where you think a degree in English might be considered a plus) and also a Subway sandwich shop. Seriously, Subway looked at my resume and passed.

I don't have a job because I don't have experience, because I don't know anybody in a position to get me a job, and because I can't stand the phony process of ass-kissing that business majors and other troglodytes refer to as "networking".

I'm sorry if I don't want to "build my network", put out "feelers" to "contacts" and engage in "mutually beneficial mouth-to-ass reconnaissance". I want to send in my information, get called in for an interview and get a job that I can do and then do it as well as I can. Why the heck does this have to be so protracted and painful? I have a college degree and good grades, I've done some things and every job I've ever had I been a diligent and reliable worker. Someone just give me a damn job to do and get out of my way.

Ugh, I'm sorry, but job hunting is the absolute worst. Everybody has their little suggestions and their implications that you must be doing something horribly wrong, and I'm getting sick and tired of it. If I hear yet another way in which I can improve my cover letters I think I'll go insane. How did we find ourselves living in a world where cover letters, which are basically pointless drivel and b.s., matter so much?


  1. I thought it was you who turned down the bookstore?

  2. I've actually applied to jobs at probably a dozen bookstores. Every time I passed one in Chicago I would apply. The Borders on State Street interviewed me, but they said no because I said I was going home for Christmas.

    The local Barnes and Noble wouldn't even take my application.

    Also, anonymous comments are discouraged. Reveal thyself!

  3. Hate to say it, but we are in an economic recession. That being the case,at the very least you can take comfort in the fact that a heck of a lot of other smart, well-educated people don't have jobs either.

    I think you have to separate ass kissing and shameless networking from establishing contacts, however. Have you checked into local book or movie groups? Who knows, maybe the right one would have someone who writes book/movie reviews for some (potentially hippie) newspaper or mag and maybe they could set you up a paid freelance deal to write opinion pieces every so often.