Why Romantic Comedies Are Evil

One of the great benefits of being single is that it gives me complete control over the movies I watch, which means there is zero chance I will have to sit through the 90-minute torture session about to open in theaters across the country. I am speaking of the latest Matthew McConaughey romantic comedy, entitled "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past".

In case you've missed the ubiquitous commercials, McConaughey (I don't care if I'm spelling it wrong or not) plays a Lothario who is visited by a ghost played by Michael Douglas (showing that the recession is taking a toll on Hollywood I guess, I mean, this man has an Oscar and he's taking a bit part in this crap?) who tells him that he has missed out on his dream girl and to show him how will take him through his past girlfriends. The movie will then presumably show it's star bedding an array of bombshell blondes (with one Asian chick thrown in so they don't wind up with a race problem at the studio) until he realizes that he should really be with The One That Got Away (Because He Mistreated Her And Only Cares About Mindless Sex.) TOTGABHMHAOCAMS is played in this movie by Jennifer Garner, who, the commercial shows us, is about to marry someone else, possibly someone who hasn't even slept with 100 different women, but who will be portrayed as a jerk because he doesn't find McConaughey charming as he interrupts his wedding.

My principal objection to this movie is that it is part of a disturbing trend wherein supposedly romantic movies extol and promote bad ideas for relationships. I'm not saying grown women are stupid enough to believe that the on-screen activities of the on-screen couples in this cinematic travesty are at all realistic, but what are we teaching young girls about relationships when we portray romance in this way? What do girls learn from a movie in which a man who behaves awfully can all of a sudden change overnight and become Mr. Right? Hey, you stick with that guy who treats you like dirt and sleeps with your friends, because one day, he's going to figure it all out and totally love you the way you deserve.

Ugh.